5 Good Reasons Not To Spoil Your Children

Guess how many spoiled children really felt loved!  Well, actually, only about 48% of them which meant that the other half did not really gain anything at all and probably grew up frustrated and unhappy. This is just one of the many startling reasons not to spoil them. Just one of the statistics from the book  ‘How Much is Too Much’ by  Jean Illsley Clarke, Connie Dawson and David Bredehoft. They did ten research projects which involved surveying over 3,500 children.

But before we look at the reasons, let us do some demographics and find out where all these spoiled brats are in the USA!

Top ten US cities

Any idea in which city, parents are really going over the top when they spoil their kids?  Not surprisingly, the Big Apple comes out on top where New Yorkers are prone to spending a whopping 90% more on their darlings than the national average! We cannot be sure about the reasons why they spoil and lavish so much on them. Anyway,  here is the complete list

  1. New York
  2. Brooklyn
  3. Miami
  4. Minneapolis
  5. Tulsa
  6. Dallas
  7. Atlanta
  8. Los Angeles
  9. San Diego
  10. Fort Worth

Whether we live in one of these cities is not the point at all. If we do not, there is no room for complacency either! The real point is how much we are encouraging a consumerist mentality in our sons and daughters when we spoil them and what alternative values we are teaching them.

So here are five other good reasons why we should NOT  spoil our children.

1. Late developers.

To spoil a child means delaying their development as regards learning how to get on in life. If we do everything for them there is no way that they can learn how to cope and to do simple everyday tasks. When we grew up we had to do things in the house as my mother worked so everybody had chores to do.  To this day, I thank them that I learnt a few useful life skills like dealing with preparing food, feeding hens and cleaning the fireplace!

2.Toys are no substitute for prime time

Many mothers and fathers fall into the consumerist trap by rewarding children with toys and gadgets for dealing with the fact that they cannot really spend prime time at all with them. This alarming trend was revealed in a report published by UNICEF on the British way of parenting children. But toys and gadgets were a poor substitute for happy times together with the parents. The report stressed that one of the reasons was that the British had to work longer hours than their counterparts in other countries.

3. We cannot be friends with our offspring.

Some parents want to go overboard and become great friends with their offspring. The atmosphere is very relaxed and there do not seem to be any rules at all. They  grow up in a microcosm which is not a reflection of the real world where rules, laws and social responsibility exist. Otherwise society would collapse. When these children grow up, they will become irresponsible citizens and are liable to be social misfits as well. The classic line came from a mother of a teen who robbed a bank. She said: ‘I cannot understand why he did that, I always gave him what he wanted!’ One of the reasons we have a selfish, uncaring society.

4. Parents cannot be taxi drivers all the time.

Parents run great taxi services for their offspring! They are transported everywhere now and demand that they are met and taken to dance classes, scouts and anything else in between. The result is that they never learn about dealing with punctuality and are always late when they actually have to get from point A to B on their own. This sort of spoiling is not teaching them an essential life skill which is punctuality.

5. A spoiled child will become a selfish adult

Experts tell us that spoiled kids turn into selfish, demanding and irresponsible adults. They also say that the spoiled child is less likely to be happy, well balanced adult. Moreover, they are going to be liable to suffer from debilitating consequences of being unable to form lasting relationships. (Bruce J. McIntosh, M.D., writing in the journal Pediatrics)

Ideal Family?

Ideal Family?

So, there we have it. Lots of good reasons why we should not be spoiling our kids.  All we have to do is to make sure that set limits are established, consequences are followed through and that they learn to help in the household and acquire a few useful life skills along the way. Easier said than done!  I know!. Maybe there is someting in the old saying, ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’?

Where do YOU draw the line as regards spoiling your little ones and does it work?  What are your reasons for doing so? Tell us about it in the comments below

 

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