Many parents have actually admitted defeat when they are confronted with a screaming child or when kids’ anger is just out of control. We are in the screaming, yelling and explosive anger which seems impossible to deal with. About 50% of parents have admitted that they have lost control and started shouting back and have lost their cool.
Parents cannot help reacting whether they are being abused, threatened or insulted. How do you deal with kids’ anger effectively and how do you keep control? Here are some ideas which have worked for many parents in this situation.
- De-escalate the situation. That means not reacting at all although that can be really difficult.
- If you can, just take time out yourself and say that you cannot handle this right now. This is the truth. You want to be calmer and confront the problem later.
- You will not give in to the child’s demands. This establishes a dangerous precedent especially if the meltdown is about a request for an object or permission to do something. This could teach the child that this sort of reaction gets results!
- Children imitate behavior so a calm reaction each and every time will eventually start producing results.
- Talk later to the child or teen about what happened.
- Ask what happened and does he know the cause
- Suggest other ways of reacting when anger and frustration build up and are explosive. Give examples from your own life and situation.
- Mention voluntary time out- you yourself may have used this. It is perfectly acceptable if your child wants to distance himself from the scene of the crime, so to speak.
After the whole incident is over, you will have to deal out some consequences of there was damage to the home or another sibling was hurt in the episode. There is no need at all to worry about consequences if a child was just giving vent to his frustration and rage. Just talk about the ways we can deal with that the next time.
Dealing with kids’anger is never easy. If you follow some of the suggestions above, it will help to keep you on track. If you feel you need more help, look at the programs recommended in this blog.